was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
