butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
