Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
