I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
only if we run a train.
done.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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