If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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