Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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