I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
