and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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