so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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