Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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