He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Randomize
