Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
