I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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