Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
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