But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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