yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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