Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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