my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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