My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
