You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
