Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
