Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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