i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
