sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
