i jhust puked up my retainher.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
And then he peed in my hair
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
