dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
