peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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