Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
