I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
did i walk over a car last night?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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