so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
