she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think my moral compass just broke
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
