you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
