Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
