I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Im part way to drunk.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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