So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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