Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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