Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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