I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
