somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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