i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
