I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
