I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm like, not good at living.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
