guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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