Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
