He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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