Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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