i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
