So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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