Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
