I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
