Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
